Tips to help parents soothe kids' back-to-school jitters

A new backpack, fresh school supplies and the excitement of seeing friends again can make the start of a new school year feel special. But for many youngsters, the reality of new teachers, unfamiliar classmates and changing routines can also bring back-to-school jitters that show up in unexpected ways.

Changes in sleep, worries about making friends, clinginess or even the occasional bathroom accident are just a few ways anxiety can surface. While some first-day jitters are completely normal, parents often wonder when those feelings may signal something more.

Jeremy Pettit, child anxiety expert and executive director at FIU's Center for Children and Families (CCF), shares practical tips to help parents ease back-to-school anxiety, recognize warning signs, and know when it's time to seek professional help.

What can parents do to help?

There are many ways you can support your child as they adjust to the new school year. Here are some strategies Pettit recommends:

1. Attend open house or orientation events so your child can meet their teacher and get familiar with the classroom.
2. Set a predictable daily routine. Consistency can help children feel secure and improve sleep.
3. Talk about the positives. Seeing friends again, joining a new club, or learning something new.
4. Offer reassurance, but don’t overdo it. Repeating “you’ll be fine” too often can backfire.
5. Avoid letting your child stay home due to anxiety. This often reinforces their fears.
6. Show empathy. Parents can discuss with their kids their own experiences with nervousness or anxiety and what they have found to be helpful. Parents can also help children identify their own strategies for coping with anxiety.
7. Praise children when they face their fears and make efforts to cope with anxiety.
8. Keep a check on your own anxiety. Children pick up on parents’ emotions. Provide a calm and encouraging presence for your child.

School jitters or anxiety? How to tell the difference

It’s common for kids to feel a mix of excitement and worry before school starts, Pettit explains. This mix of feelings, often called the school “jitters,” can sometimes look like more serious anxiety.

So how can you tell the difference? "The key differences come down to intensity, impact and duration," Pettit says. 

School jitters usually fade within the first few days of school, especially with a little reassurance that things will be okay. They don’t stop your child from getting to school, joining activities or enjoying their day.

"When worry and fears become so strong that it’s hard for your child to go about their normal routine, disrupts family life or lingers well beyond the first week of school, it may be a sign that something more than the typical jitters is going on. That's worth taking a closer look," Pettit says. 

Here are some signs to watch for:

1. Trouble with sleep as the start of the school year approaches. Oftentimes this is just normal excitement about the beginning of a new school year and adjustment to a new routine. However, if it’s accompanied by other behaviors on this list, it may be a sign of anxiety.
2. Repeated requests for assurances that everything will be okay at school. For example, children may ask for reassurance that they won’t fail, that their teacher will be nice, that other kids will like them, etc.
3. Excessive checking (and rechecking) to make sure all school materials and supplies are in order. Checking the supplies once or twice is normal, but checking constantly to the point it becomes excessive, may point to a problem.
4. Excessive repetition of directions, schedules, rules, etc. to make sure they can be followed exactly. Again, the key word here is excessive. Going over the rules once or twice for understanding is normal, but continued focus on rules and schedules can be a sign of anxiety.
5. Physical complaints. Headaches, stomachaches and even vomiting before bedtime or in the morning are common signs of anxiety about school.
6. Irritability or mood swings as the start of school draws near. Like the first item on the list, this behavior can occur for many reasons and anxiety about school is one of them.
7. Social withdrawal and/or refusal to talk about school. Shutting down and refusing to talk about school is especially common among older children and adolescents who are anxious.
8. School refusal, repeated pleas not to attend school or frequent requests to be picked up early once the school year begins.

When should parents seek help?

If your child's anxiety begins interfering with school, friendships, family life or everyday activities and doesn't improve after the first few weeks of school, it may be time to seek professional support, Pettit says.

The Center for Children and Families offers families a full range of services designed to help children and teens manage anxiety and other emotional or behavioral challenges.

“We offer individual and group therapy both in-person right here at MMC and through telehealth,” says Pettit. “Our team works with kids struggling not just with anxiety, but also attention issues, behavioral challenges and mood disorders."

If your child is struggling with anxiety or any other concerns, contact the Center for Children and Families to learn more about available resources, clinical services and research opportunities for children and teens.

Back-to-school can be a fresh start

The beginning of a new school year brings new opportunities, friendships and experiences. While some nervousness is a natural part of the transition, persistent anxiety doesn't have to become part of your child's school experience.

With the right support and tools, Pettit says, children can learn to manage anxiety, build confidence and start the school year feeling ready to succeed.