Helping children navigate the emotional aftershocks of an earthquake

The devastating earthquake in Venezuela has left countless families grieving, displaced and searching for loved ones. For many South Florida families with ties to the region, the tragedy feels especially close to home.

As parents cope with their own worry and uncertainty, they may also be trying to help their children make sense of what has happened. Previous FIU research shows children don't have to experience a disaster firsthand to be affected by it. Even from thousands of miles away, repeated exposure to news coverage, social media and conversations about a tragedy can take an emotional toll.

"Earthquakes can be especially difficult because the uncertainty doesn't necessarily end when the ground stops shaking," said Jonathan Comer, FIU psychology professor and director of the Network for Enhancing Wellness in Disaster-Affected Youth (NEW DAY) program at FIU’s Center for Children and Families. "Aftershocks can leave both adults and children wondering when it's truly over, and that uncertainty can make it harder to regain a sense of safety."

"Children don't always have the words to explain what they're feeling after a disaster," Comer said. "Sometimes those emotions show up through changes in behavior, sleep or even physical complaints. The good news is that supportive adults can make an enormous difference in helping children recover."

Parents shouldn't feel like they have to have all the answers, Comer said. What matters most is creating a safe space where children feel comfortable asking questions, expressing their emotions and knowing they are loved and supported.

Whether a child experienced the earthquake firsthand, has loved ones in the affected area or is trying to make sense of what they're seeing online, Comer offers several ways parents and caregivers can help.

Project confidence.

Children often look to the adults around them to understand how worried they should be. It's okay for children to know you're saddened by what's happening, but try to remain calm and reassuring. The way adults respond can help children feel more secure during uncertain times.

Find out what they know.

Before explaining what happened, ask your child what they've heard and what questions they have. This gives you the opportunity to correct misunderstandings without overwhelming them with information they may not be ready to process. Keep your answers honest, simple and appropriate for their age, and avoid graphic details.

Watch smart & avoid overexposure.

Children don't have to witness a disaster firsthand to be affected by it. Repeated exposure to distressing images and videos can increase fear and anxiety, particularly in younger children. Help them understand the difference between events happening elsewhere and their own immediate safety. Limit repeated exposure to disaster coverage when possible, and encourage older children to take breaks from social media if they're becoming overwhelmed.

Let them know their feelings are normal.

Fear, sadness, anger, confusion and frustration are all common reactions after a tragedy. Reassure children that there is no "right" way to feel. Some children express their emotions through changes in behavior rather than words, so pay attention to changes in sleep, appetite, mood or behavior.

Praise positive thoughts.

When your child offers positive or hopeful thoughts, be sure to praise them. Acknowledge those hopeful moments and encourage them to keep looking for signs of kindness and resilience.

Help them challenge anxious thoughts.

It's common for children to worry that the same thing could happen to them or to someone they love. Rather than dismissing those fears, help them put those thoughts into perspective by asking gentle questions and talking through what's realistic. Replacing catastrophic thoughts with more balanced ones can help reduce anxiety.

Remind them they are safe.

Children want to know that the adults in their lives are doing everything possible to keep them safe. Reassure them by talking about the many people helping communities recover, including emergency responders, healthcare workers, volunteers and neighbors. Focusing on the helpers can provide reassurance and hope.

Stick to your daily routine as much as possible.

As much as possible, maintain regular routines for meals, bedtime, school and family activities. Predictability helps restore a child's sense of security and reminds them that caring adults are there to support them.

Encourage them to take action.

If children ask how they can help, encourage them to get involved in age-appropriate ways. They might write thank-you notes to first responders, draw pictures for affected families, participate in a fundraiser or donate to a relief organization. Even small acts of kindness can help children feel less helpless and remind them that they can make a positive difference.

"Children are remarkably resilient," Comer said. "When adults respond with calm, honesty and compassion, they help children feel safe enough to begin healing, even after difficult events."

For children who experienced the earthquake firsthand, healing may take longer. "Most children recover emotionally with time, stability and the support of caring adults," he added. "But some will need more intensive support to cope with grief, fear and traumatic stress as they begin to rebuild a sense of safety and normalcy."